Live on Tape (Show #24)
“RUSSIAN INVASION - THE RETURN OF IVAN & VOSTER”
Airdate: January 23rd, 1988
(23:58)
SYNOPSIS - Guy and Arnie attempt to do their jobs at reporting the weekly news and especially an endurance record that is about to be broken at the Kewanee Observatory of Acrobatic Phenomenon. Zippy Spamhammer is on location in Kewanee where Mr. Perry Dink is about to break the world record for having a live toad in his mouth the longest... yum!
During all this, the Russian Cosmonauts from shows #8 and #9 are in orbit again trying to take over the airwaves with their own brand of “Live on Tapeski”. Luckily Dr. Hans Meshner from the Office of Governmental Agencies of Unknown Spacecraft shows up to help counter the attack. In the end Arnie is launched into orbit aboard the maiden voyage of the USS Arnieprise ready to drop the world’s most powerful secret weapon... naturally, nothing goes right for Arnie.
“Hey! Have you ever seen aerobics? Well, let me tell you, I’ve seen some pretty big pee-nomers!”
- Arnie Upshoe
“LIVE ON TAPE” FIRSTS - The first appearance of the ever-popular star-can the U.S.S. Arnieprise!
SKITS AND BITS
•Between the Lines - Guy and Arnie report on such stories as presidential hopeful Bruce Babbit who attacks a bunch of first graders and Alexander Haig who ate a live pig... bones and all.
•Arnie Sings Patsy Cline’s Greatest Hits - (first showing) Arnie, that dapper young dame dons a dainty dress with debutante delight and sings his heart out! He’s a man among women!
•Bobo ‘n Binkie - Again, these frighteningly realistic “hand” puppets make an unparalleled second appearance on the show! Why?! Why?! Why?!
•Arnie’s Gripe of the Week #5 - Oooo, Arnie’s really burn’ this week! He’s all upset that the government keeps sending him this 1040 tax-program that they want him to sign up for. We learn that Arnie has NEVER paid his taxes!
•Highlights From The Miss USSR Beauty Pageant - They’re big, they’re hairy, they’re testosterone levels are far too high!
•Win, Lose or Die! - Ivan and Voster play a popular Soviet game to pass the time.
•Soviet Sport of the Week “Siberian Golf” - We watch as happy frozen golfers brave the Siberian tundra in search of par.
•The Brutal Truth - This hard-hitting news show covers the tragic story of Albert Raithmoore, the world’s funniest man. Honest.
•NOTES AND “LIVE ON TAPE” FACTS
- Hmmmm, a little deja vu? This is yet the FIFTH show with the story line that someone’s trying to take over the show. Actually, I figured that probably not that many folks saw the original episodes with Ivan and Voster #8 and #9, so I did a rehash of their stuff, and made it a two parter to boot!
- The space ship effects just don’t get any better do they?
- For the “Arnie Sings Patsy” skit, Janos had to learn all those songs in a rush minutes before we taped it. He never got them quite right, but it was one of our more popular skits. A big, hairy man in a dress, go figure.
- This show marks one of the early trade-mark sayings of Arnie, “You gotta help me Guy! You gotta help me!” This became a reoccurring phrase for Arnie when he found himself in dire straits with some higher authority.
- The morning we taped the Russian Bathing Beauty stuff was the first time that Don Abbott (Clive Knobfinder) was on the show, and consequently the first time I ever met him. Janos had invited him to stop by the studio. Don had just returned from being over-seas in the military and Janos had thought he’d be great for the show. Little did we know he’d never be able to read a teleprompter convincingly.
- The reason for the “Brutal Truth” skit, and Jim Peterson starring in it, was that Merlin Nelson’s older brother constantly commented on how funny he thought Jim was on the show (and Jim is DAMN funny). He said he was “the funniest man in the world.” And so it goes. Too bad it wasn’t that funny a skit.
- All the stuff inside the Russian’s spacecraft was shot in my apartment. What? It isn’t obvous that’s not real Soviet technology?
- For the “Siberian Golf” skit, I shot that just outside of “Short Hills” a country club in the Quad-Cities, all the barbed-wire and fences surround their course... it’s lovely. It was butt-suckin’ cold the day we taped that stuff!
CREDITS
Costumes Provided By: Circa ‘21 and the Show Business
Producer - Thomas Hart
Directors - Greg Baldwin, Thomas Hart
Writer - Thomas Hart
PLAYERS
Don Abbott
Greg Baldwin
Don Bargmann Jr.
James Cox
Greg Crook
Becky “Beckers” Hanson
Thomas Hart
John Horvath
Scott Hoyt
Brandon Lovested
Mike McBride
Mark McLaughlin
Shawn Mlekush
Merline Nelson Jr.
James Peterson
Luann Schwartz
Bobbie-Sue Young
Video-Tape Editor - Thomas Hart
Studio Camera Operator - Steve Elliott, Kori Skinner
Field Photographer - Thomas Hart
Audio - Denise Hollmer
Prompter - Sue Passe
Spaceship F/X by: This can’t really be yogurt effects inc.
©Copyright 1988, 2006 Thomas Hart
OUT TAKE #5 (Voster wiggles his beard into the camera with glee)
Voster: “Uhgahd... Ihjudst... Oh I just love this... oooh my gwad!... Oaahh... I’ve got this caterpiller’s crawling up my nose...”